What if I never wrote this blog?

"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave." - Mary Tyler Moore.

My absolute worst fear(besides aliens) is looking back on any part of my life and wondering 'What if?'

As far as we know, we only live one life - and when my life flashes before my eyes my last thought is going to be 'Hell yeah!'

I don't let anything hold me back from doing the things I want to do and sure, I make some mistakes along the way but then I learn lessons. I'm moving forward.

So you make a mistake - at least you went for what I you wanted. Isn't that better than playing it safe and never knowing?

Every decision you make tells you something unlocks a part of you and a fulfilling life means knowing all there is to know about yourself.

Every second we live, is a second closer to the end. The question is - how do you want to see your life when it's coming to a close?

Yeah I know, this sort of impulsive attitude could get me into trouble and believe me; it does. But I have no regrets and so much insight. Wait, wait, wait... time to backtrack.

I just lied.

I do have one regret, it's only a week old and I'm already thinking 'What if?' which just proves my point even further - JUST DO IT! Obviously have the sense to make good judgement, don't do something that's going to get you killed. This sort of philosophy doesn't apply to every aspect of life, but if you have common sense you'll see it can apply to a lot.

Anyway, now I know for a fact that I have to take every chance and opportunity the gets thrown my way. Because those opportunities rarely come back around. And sure, this wasn't something HUGE that I will regret not doing for the rest of my life - but this minor inconvenience could have been avoided if I had stuck with my own beliefs.

Which starts a whole new topic about being true to who you are and your beliefs because at the end of the day that's all you have but I'll save that one for later.

"And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done."

- Audioslave, Like A Stone.

I Swear To Drink I Won't Have Another God

"I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk." ~John Marcellus Huston

How do you tell an alcoholic froma a drinker?

I, personally, only drink socially. Never have I sat alone and drank. Have I entertained the idea? Oh, yeah. Especially during writers block. Everyone knows some of the biggest geniuses were alcoholics or drug addicts (or just plain crazy)... but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it in fear of becoming my mother.

Now I'm not calling her an alcoholic per say but she is one of the main people that makes me wonder where the line between these two things should be drawn...

I've once asked her "Mum, do you think you're an alcoholic?" to which she replied, very defensively, "No. There's nothing wrong with having a drink in the house."

The key phrase there would be a drink which for her is equal to many drinks.

Granted she's never gotten violent and I've never found her passed out on the floor in a puddle of her own vomit, I don't think that automatically makes her innocent of alcoholism.

Medical Definition

Alcoholism is the popular term for alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. These disorders involve repeated life problems that can be directly attributed to the use of alcohol. Both disorders can have serious consequences, affecting an individual's health and personal life, as well as having an impact on society at large

Another Definition

Habitual intoxication; prolonged and excessive intake of alcoholic drinks leading to a breakdown in health and an addiction to alcohol such that abrupt deprivation leads to severe withdrawal symptoms

Dependency, prolonged and excessive intake - by these definitions I would make a definite associations between alcoholism and my mother.

But this is just my opinion. Personally, I believe if you drink say... 4 to 7 gin and tonics every night (more when you go to the bar earlier that night) while you're watching t.v. by yourself then yes, you are in fact an alcoholic.

There are those (including my mother) who would challenge me on this diagnosis and I welcome that.

What do you think makes someone an alcoholic as opposed to just a drinker?